So if you have little or no desire for any kind of sex—even with George Clooney in your fantasies—see your doctor to be sure you don't have a medical condition, such as thyroid issues or certain cancers, says Dr. Beyond that, libido has a lot to do with how easily you can talk to your partner, and how bothered either of you is by how often you have sex.For one couple, once a month feels fine, whereas for others three times a week is practically nothing.
You might be bored or in a rut (and so might your man), so address it as soon as possible, advises Dr. Myth 8: If I've never had great orgasms, it's too late now. Sebastian, who admits, "I was never multi-orgasmic until after I had my second child." She attributes the change to a newfound sense of self-confidence, an ability to start askingfor what she wanted in bed.
Truth: The changes that occur in the (sometimes) years before menopause, such as irregular periods, mood changes and lack of vaginal lubrication will affect your sex life. Take dryness: Using a lubricant such as KY Jelly helps, but so does the act of having sex: "When blood goes to the genitals, the tissues remain healthy," encouraging natural lubrication.
But a changing body is still a sexual body, says Dr. Hot flashes and fatigue associated with perimenopause can wreak havoc on your energy levels, says Mc Grath, so talk to your doctor about possible hormonal remedies.
But it's more likely that "I'm too tired" is an excuse to avoid sex.
Being chronically out of energy can trigger a sex drive dip, so ask your doctor to check your thyroid levels and test you for anemia, says Mc Grath.